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And now for the trashy backstabby passive aggressive poll portion of the evening! - Journal of an angel [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Amy

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And now for the trashy backstabby passive aggressive poll portion of the evening! [Nov. 13th, 2012|09:27 pm]
Amy
Haha. So!

Every year, one side of the family gets together for a big Christmas bash. We do a white elephant style ornament exchange, Santa comes to visit, there's all kinds of fun and games. We take turns hosting it and this year is my year.

For a long time it was just a random day in December, but we kept getting drama from Cousin A because her birthday falls around the second weekend - which was often picked because it's such a good time for it. So, fine. To make peace, we moved it to the first Saturday of December. It means the host/hostess pretty much has to get their tree super early and get all their decorations up quickly, etc, but we made it work.

The other day, Cousin M told me that Cousin A has sent out a Save The Date card for December 1st, day of the party. Cousin A and I don't talk outside of family events, and so I hadn't received one. Cousin A is having her twins' birthday party (approx a month early) on that date.

Thankfully I hadn't sent out the invitations yet. With a lot of searching for a way out of drama, I decided to change it to the Sunday after the party and hope for the best (since many members will feel as if they should attend both events and so making them choose sucks). This is not ideal... some people made plans around the normal party date, and while they've said they can cancel them and they'd rather attend, it seems a crappy thing to do when they're not at fault. Some people have said I should just say screw it and host on the original date and tant pis to Cousin A. So, I turn to you, livejournal!

Should I:

A) Have the party on the 1st. It's a tradition, the family is already going out of their way for this person, and they are a passive aggressive jerk who needs to be called on it or they will keep pulling stunts like this. I don't even like her anyway.

B) Have the party on the 2nd. It's not that much of a change, and only affects a few understanding people, and will avoid potential drama from Cousin A's corner of the family (and my family hangs onto drama for generations, okay?). This will prevent other family members from having to "choose" which event to attend (I'm fairly certain I'd 'win' except for their side of it).

Help me Liverjournal, you're my only hope! Well, except for Facebook where everyone is going to know exactly who Cousin A is.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: write_light
2012-11-14 05:55 am (UTC)
Of course I WANT you to do "A", but that means "B" is the better choice. ;D

What would Obama do?
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:49 am (UTC)
I actually think Obama would choose A! Would he change a major event for one person in particular, who didn't even have the decency to ask him to change it? If it meant inconveniencing other people who had planned around the usual date? I just don't see it happening!

(I may be a little bit gleeful that so many people chose A over B)
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[User Picture]From: squirrel94085
2012-11-14 05:57 am (UTC)
Don't give in to her crap. She's already forced a date change once. Don't let one person who thinks she's so important mess up the entire family. Option A all the way.
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:51 am (UTC)
Hee! When you are right, you are right! Also, I saw these today and thought of you... not sure if you'll like them or not:
http://boingboing.net/2012/10/04/rings-carved-from-billiard-bal.html
If you do, they strike me as a good stocking stuffer hint :)
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:54 am (UTC)
Ouch! Looks like her prices have gone up quite a bit since she was on Etsy...not sure you'll want one that badly!
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[User Picture]From: amaena
2012-11-14 05:43 pm (UTC)
Option A absolutely. You have already made numerous concessions for this person.. you do need to be firm
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:55 am (UTC)
Yay! I was (not so) secretly hoping for option A!
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[User Picture]From: horrorvenus
2012-11-14 06:29 pm (UTC)
I vote for option A as well.
You can plead your broken leg if challenged. It doesn't make sense but you should milk that thing for all it's worth!
((hugs))
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:56 am (UTC)
*hugs* Hey, how've you been? Long time since I've seen you post anything.

Yay! The option A's are coming in quicker than I dared to hope. Heh, don't think the broken leg will save me from drama-rama 2012, but I will take that chance :)
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[User Picture]From: rivestra
2012-11-14 07:47 pm (UTC)
Reluctantly, I vote B (since everyone is already aware and willing to be understanding about it). I also vote for a carefully worded invitation wherein you take the high ground while letting everyone know she's a pain in the ass and made you change things. You could even add in a bit about setting the date now for next year's party so you don't have "this kind of problem" again.

It's possible that I'm too accommodating though, as people have said (though usually they don't say that while it's to their advantage).
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:45 am (UTC)
I am going with option A... not because I don't value your advice (I do!) but it seems to be the way most people are leaning. I think I would have changed the date if she'd talked to me directly about it, but this was a pretty backhand way to do it :( and I don't want to punish people who actually followed the rules and are being nice, you know? Being a good person doesn't mean you should get the short end of the stick because one of the wheels is being squeaky. Wow, what a clear, unmuddled metaphor! Honestly, either way is probably going to be drama. I did put a sneaky-catty part in the invitation about, "like every year, it will be the first Saturday of December".... heh. I'm a bad person, aren't I? But I really think it's the better way to go.
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[User Picture]From: locknkey
2012-11-15 12:52 am (UTC)
depends on if you want to deal with the family drama?



Edited at 2012-11-15 12:53 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:46 am (UTC)
Have decided to bring the drama on! It can't be worse than that time my aunt & uncle put their inherited house into my cousin's name and then he had them evicted. (oh, I wish that was hyperbole)
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