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And now for the trashy backstabby passive aggressive poll portion of the evening! [Nov. 13th, 2012|09:27 pm]
Haha. So!

Every year, one side of the family gets together for a big Christmas bash. We do a white elephant style ornament exchange, Santa comes to visit, there's all kinds of fun and games. We take turns hosting it and this year is my year.

For a long time it was just a random day in December, but we kept getting drama from Cousin A because her birthday falls around the second weekend - which was often picked because it's such a good time for it. So, fine. To make peace, we moved it to the first Saturday of December. It means the host/hostess pretty much has to get their tree super early and get all their decorations up quickly, etc, but we made it work.

The other day, Cousin M told me that Cousin A has sent out a Save The Date card for December 1st, day of the party. Cousin A and I don't talk outside of family events, and so I hadn't received one. Cousin A is having her twins' birthday party (approx a month early) on that date.

Thankfully I hadn't sent out the invitations yet. With a lot of searching for a way out of drama, I decided to change it to the Sunday after the party and hope for the best (since many members will feel as if they should attend both events and so making them choose sucks). This is not ideal... some people made plans around the normal party date, and while they've said they can cancel them and they'd rather attend, it seems a crappy thing to do when they're not at fault. Some people have said I should just say screw it and host on the original date and tant pis to Cousin A. So, I turn to you, livejournal!

Should I:

A) Have the party on the 1st. It's a tradition, the family is already going out of their way for this person, and they are a passive aggressive jerk who needs to be called on it or they will keep pulling stunts like this. I don't even like her anyway.

B) Have the party on the 2nd. It's not that much of a change, and only affects a few understanding people, and will avoid potential drama from Cousin A's corner of the family (and my family hangs onto drama for generations, okay?). This will prevent other family members from having to "choose" which event to attend (I'm fairly certain I'd 'win' except for their side of it).

Help me Liverjournal, you're my only hope! Well, except for Facebook where everyone is going to know exactly who Cousin A is.

[User Picture]From: rivestra
2012-11-14 07:47 pm (UTC)
Reluctantly, I vote B (since everyone is already aware and willing to be understanding about it). I also vote for a carefully worded invitation wherein you take the high ground while letting everyone know she's a pain in the ass and made you change things. You could even add in a bit about setting the date now for next year's party so you don't have "this kind of problem" again.

It's possible that I'm too accommodating though, as people have said (though usually they don't say that while it's to their advantage).
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[User Picture]From: sublimatedangel
2012-11-15 04:45 am (UTC)
I am going with option A... not because I don't value your advice (I do!) but it seems to be the way most people are leaning. I think I would have changed the date if she'd talked to me directly about it, but this was a pretty backhand way to do it :( and I don't want to punish people who actually followed the rules and are being nice, you know? Being a good person doesn't mean you should get the short end of the stick because one of the wheels is being squeaky. Wow, what a clear, unmuddled metaphor! Honestly, either way is probably going to be drama. I did put a sneaky-catty part in the invitation about, "like every year, it will be the first Saturday of December".... heh. I'm a bad person, aren't I? But I really think it's the better way to go.
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